Nobody's perfect
by PolishCaskettShipper
Summary: Story loosely based on Jessie J's Nobody's Perfect. Secrets come out. They're both hurting. Is their partnership strong enough to get through this? Could be spoilers for 4x22 and 4x23! Sorry for all mistakes! *Unbetaed*


**AN: **I wanna beta this story before posting, but I'm so excited 'bout this one... I couldn't wait to share this with you guys, so I'm really sorry for all mistakes. If someone want to beta this, I'm in! :d

**Disclaimer**: I do not own this show and if I believe in anything, it's Andrew Marlowe. And this amazing piece of music below belongs to Jessie J.

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**Nobody's perfect**

_But I never meant to hurt you__  
__I know it's time that I learnt to__  
__Treat the people I love like I wanna be loved__  
__This is a lesson learnt__I hate that I let you down and I feel so bad about it__  
__I guess karma comes back around__  
__Cuz' now I'm the one that's hurting - yeah__  
__And I hate that I made you think that the trust we have is broken__  
__Don't tell me you can't forgive me cuz' nobody's perfect__  
__No, no, no, no, no, no, no__  
__Nobody's perfect, no!_

He rejected her phone call. Again. _The umpteenth time's the charm._ Kate thought sarcastically and she dialed his number once more time. Here we go again… Rejection. She was angry. With him. With herself. With whole damned world. She was sitting on her couch, sobbing into her Union Jack pillow. She was in this state since she'd get back from Castle's loft. They'd had a fight. A big one. Two fools lying to each other. They both had said things, that they weren't proud of. Beckett knew that she shouldn't got so furious, she had lied to him too, but… _God, it hurts so much!_ _Why had we do this to ourselves!_

**…::::…**

_"Castle… I really don't have time to schlep around! I'm tired. I'm going home." Beckett said and got up, heading towards front door of writer's loft. She's been there for 3 hours now. She'd come over after Castle had invited her. He'd wanted to talk 'bout something important, but he'd must changed his mind._

_"No… Beckett, stay. I wanted to talk to you…"_

_"Yeah, I know, but if you don't know, talking is when someone opens his mouth saying something! You've been just sitting, sighing and staring at me since we ate our take outs! It creeps me out! If you have something to say, just say it!" _

_"I'm through with research…" Castle said and Beckett heart stopped._

_"What…?" She whispered, not able to process what he'd just said._

_"Last Nikki Heat's book is almost done. I don't wanna write another one." He said, fighting to remain emotionless._

_"But Castle… I… What about the 12__th__? I thought we're partners…" Kate sounded like a lost child._

_"Of course, but if I won't be writing another book, I won't be allowed to stay there anymore." He answered calmly. She smirked._

_"Yeah… Like you couldn't figure something out if you really wanted… You said that it's not only about the books! Just say that you don't want to be there anymore. Do you think I don't see what's going on? You're pulling away from us! From boys. From me… Something's changed lately and it sucks, Castle…"_

_"Welcome in my world." He said sarcastically. "You're right. Something's changed. But before we talk about this, I have to tell you and show you something. Follow me…" Writer said and walked into his office. Beckett followed him. He stopped after grabbing a remote, usually laying on his desk. "Just so you know, by doing this I don't wanna hurt you… And I'm not sorry for that. I've never could be." As he ended speaking, Castle pressed the button and smart board on the wall lighted up._

_She looked at the picture of herself in the middle. There was a pictures of her mother, Roy, Lockwood as well. Who hired the sniper? She read and her body stiffened. "You've been investigating my mother's murder and my shooting…" She whispered. Tears silently ran down her cheeks. Kate looked straight in his eyes. "Why?"_

_"I got a phone call from man claiming that Montgomery sent him some documents, which can keep you alive, as far as you don't start investigate your mother's case again… I had no choice, Kate."_

_"Castle… Why are you doing this to my again? Why didn't you tell me?"_

_"I couldn't. Don't tell me if I told you, you would drop it. I know you…" Rick said firmly._

_"For God's sake, Castle! You're not a cop! It's not some kind of sick game, it's real life! What if they killed you!" She screamed._

_"You think I don't know that! For your information I was there with you, when you're dying! And believe me, I know that they can kill me!"_

_"So why the hell are you doing this!"_

_"Ha! Really! I think you know the answer!" Castle screamed losing cold blood and letting emotions take control of him. She looked puzzled. "I thought you at least consider me as your friend, but friends don't do thinks like that, Beckett! Maybe I sound like hypocrite now, cause I lied too, but I had a good reason…"_

_"What the hell are you talking about!" She asked screaming, already knowing the answer._

_"I was in the observation room, when you were telling the suspect that you remember 'every second' of that day. The random suspect, Beckett! Do you know how I felt at that moment! I was stupid fool. I thought, that we had a chance, you know. But… I thought I know you, that you're different than all other woman, who was in my life. I was wrong, you are worse. I've never loved anyone in my life so much, Kate. No one blew my mind the way you did. I changed for you. You made me a better person and I'm grateful for that. Maybe it's my fault, maybe I imagined all of this… I don't know, but what I know is that I can't work with you anymore. It hurts too much to even look at you." Now, he was crying too._

_Beckett stood there looking at him blindly through her own tears. She didn't know what to say. She was hurt and she hated him at that moment, but she was sorry for him too. She knew that Castle was right. "I'm sorry… I didn't want you to find out that way…"_

_"Yeah… I bet! Did you consider telling me at all? I don't think so!"_

_"Really! I'm sorry I was healing! I'm sorry I wanted to be more before I'd tell you! I'm really really sorry, Castle! But don't you dare pin everything on me! You lied to me too. I told you to not do this one particular thing and you have to do this!"_

_"I won't apologize for that! I've never could apologize for trying to keep you safe… I think you should go now. I don't wanna remember us like this… Farewell and slam the door as you leave." He said and walked in to his bedroom locking the door behind him. _

_"Rick! Don't do this! We need to talk this over! Please!" Kate sobbed trying to turn the knob of his bedroom door. "Rick, damn it! Don't act like that!" When after ten minutes he still didn't answered, she gave up. "Just so you know, Castle, you're so far more than friend to me. I'm sorry… If it's still worth something, I love you too. Always…" She chocked at this last word which has so much meaning for them._

**…::::…**

She didn't know how long she was sitting like that recalling their last talk. She felt exhausted, useless. Like whole world lost its meaning. She didn't feel that way since her mom's death. How is it going to be now? Castle was one of the most solid and prior issues in her life. Who's going to take care of her, telling her to eat something, bringing her coffee and making her laugh?

Beckett stood up and went to her bedroom. She pulled cherry t-shirt and black leggings out of her closet and changed. It was his t-shirt, the one he'd borrowed her when she'd been staying at his loft after her apartment had blew out. She'd wore it often last summer… It's been comforting, almost like he's been there with her. She started to sob again. Suddenly she heard silent knocking to her front door. As she was walking towards the door she saw out of the corner of her eye that it was 15 minutes after midnight. Her heart started to beat faster, she knew only one person, who could appear at her door at this hour. Kate opened the door. It was him. Glimmer of hope appeared in her heart. He looked bad, probably she looked the same. Castle looked shyly at her and smile almost unnoticeable.

"Tell me what can I do to get you and your trust back?" He whispered. Beckett's heart melted when she saw tears in his eyes mirrored her own. She didn't tell anything, Kate hugged him tightly. Her hand clung to his neck. It took him a few seconds to hugged her back, his hands gently stroked her back.

"Just, just don't go…" Beckett sobbed into crook of his neck. "I'm so sorry, Rick. I know I screwed up big time, but let me fix this, let me show you that I love you… Just be here and…" She choked.

"And?" He whispered into her hair, hugging her even tightly to him.

"Just love me…" Kate muttered pulling back to look into his blue eyes. Writer smiled and she could see this cute laugh wrinkles beside his eyes which she haven't seen for so long. Castle lowered his head and pressed his lips against hers. This kiss wasn't about the passion. It was soft and gentle. They both tried their best to show one another as much love as only possible. When they finally pulled back he looked at her with this lovely smile again, kissed her forehead and whispered one word. Only one word. But it meant everything what they felt and have been living for.

"Always…"

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**Thoughts?**


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